A Big Transition

There is a culture war throughout American politics, specifically conservative politics. For the LGBTQ+ community, as more rights are gained and it seems that there is a step in the right direction toward equality for the community, conservative politics wage war in an attempt to ostracize and erase the community from the public. Arguably, the most ostracized of the community are those who identify as transgender. As of 2023, 83 anti-transgender bills have been passed across the United States from criminalizing those who seek or give gender-affirming care, redefining child abuse to include the administration of a gender-affirming drug to a minor and banning books in school that include any queer concepts. (2023 Anti-Trans Bills: Trans legislation tracker 2023)

Ethan Leija recently began his transition in July of 2023 and he started his hormone treatment in August of this year. In July 2021, he adapted “they/them” pronouns as he was trying to understand his gender identity. Even when he identified as nonbinary, he still felt like he was not his true self. With encouragement and support from his girlfriend and friends, he finally decided to start his transition. He was telling me that, although his family was supportive, there was still some pushback from his parents who still use she/her pronouns around Ethan. However, his parents are helping him with his hormone treatment and his mom usually administers his testosterone shot.

Gender euphoria is a phenomenon felt when a person’s appearance actions or interactions with others affirm, their gender. It is the opposite of gender dysphoria, which is a feeling of discomfort when another’s perception of one’s gender does not match, they’re internal gender alignment. For Ethan, some of his gender dysphoria comes from his physic. As a man, some of his biggest insecurities are his chest and his curvier figure, however, the most gender-euphoric feelings come from the clothes that he wears. He also wears a binder or binding tape to create a flatter chest which both reaffirms his gender and others perceive him more in a masculine way when his chest is flatter. A lot of trans men use binders or binding tape to help gender expression, some even chose to get “top surgery” or to surgically remove their breasts.

For Ethan, he doesn’t, personally know any trans men, and, currently, the only way he finds community is through social media and the internet. A lot of times, the trans community can end up feeling very isolated, especially depending on where they live and whether their family accepts their identity or not. Ethan is one of the lucky few who have an accepting family and a partner who supports their transition; however, he still seeks community with other trans men through social media, like TikTok or Instagram.

This photoshoot was supposed to embrace both Ethan’s identity and the trans experience, from the insecurities to gender euphoria to the hormone treatment. I was lucky enough for him to allow me to tell his story and capture him in a vulnerable state. His girlfriend, Alyssa, told me that he appreciated how I let him feel comfortable and chose which poses or shots he’d be comfortable doing and approaching the serious issues with his identity. This photo essay is an intimate look into his life as a trans man and how his experience shines a light on trans issues and experiences.